Friday, June 01, 2012

The Stresses A Mother Goes Through During Divorce

You feel as if nothing in the world could possibly go wrong until one day you're sitting in front of a judge and you're going through divorce.

The man you once loved is not part of your life any more.  You've been used to being taken
care off and then all of a sudden you're left taking care of yourself. You take a look in the mirror
and you seem to have aged suddenly. 

If you've been used to good grooming and looking after yourself you will find your hair is
starting to look out of condition, your skin is looking dull, your nails are brittle.

Your body gets out of shape because you're not taking good care of yourself. You look at your
old photographs and you begin to cry. Your eyes are looking reddened. You're sad. Your hair shows
signs of greying.You could not afford to visit the best of hair saloons before but all of a sudden you're not visiting them at all. You're down to the last bit of lipstick and you're wondering if you will be able to afford another one. Your clothes begin to look shabby. You desperately need a job to help pay the bills. You work hard. You work overtime to make ends meet. Your car goes wrong. You worry how you're going to visit your sick parents without a car. Someone comes to your rescue and they offer to sell you their car . It isn't new but it enables you to see the people you love.

You lose your family home. Your life falls apart around you but you still struggle on because your
pride won't allow you to prostitute yourself to survive.

Your determination keeps you going. You hide behind your good sense of humour because you don't want to let those you love worry about you. You wonder how you're going to drag yourself out of bed the next morning. You have no enthusiasm to do much at all. You think about ending your life but the only thing that keeps you going are your children. You're looking forward to seeing their next smiles.

If you're at work whilst you're going through divorce you're going through so many emotions and stresses. You're going through all of the above and you're trying to hold down a job at the same time. You're worried because your sickness record depends on whether you keep your job or not.

Your children see you in a light you never wished them to see you in. You're terrified of losing them. You're worried if that extra bill you had to pay will make you overdrawn the following month. Your life feels as if it is in tatters   

Been there, done that and worn the t-shirt.

It's not easy to move on after divorce but there is light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. A woman who is left to fend for herself becomes strong.

Of course a woman who is well off and she does not need to work again because she had a huge divorce settlement probably would not associate with the types of stresses an ordinary woman would encumber. She'd perhaps be a little miffed with the initial jealousy if her partner has run off with another woman. However a woman who does not have a rich partner would not only go through the pain and the loss of losing her partner but she will face the financial burden brought on by the initial separation and then the divorce.

The struggles. The pain. The hurt. The determination. The fight to survive this bloody awful world we live in sometimes.

Folk pressurizing you to find another relationship. Feeling vulnerable but worried in case you ever have to go through it again.

Relationships. Do you really want to go there again? You're worried in case you never experience love again. You shy away from men for a while and then you gradually begin to soften again...but you're scared.  One step forward, two steps back.

Do you try again or do you just give up?   Maybe that will be my next chapter. ;).

SmileyRose x

No comments: