Sunday, June 29, 2014

Family Break-Ups And Coming To Terms With New Arrangements!

This evening I watched a very sentimental film called "Step Mom." It starred Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon. The film told the story of a happy family. The parents go through a marriage break-up. Basically, Dad has an affair with a much younger woman and the happy family are no longer. The affair breaks up and eventually Dad meets another younger woman who he moves into his home. The children find it hard to come to terms with the arrangements as they were hoping their Mother and Father would get back together again. However Dad decides to get re-married to his new lover, the proposal was very sweet, I must admit.

The new step mom doesn't try to interfere with the relationship the children already have with their Mother. She is seen like a big sister to the children instead. They all have their problems adjusting to their new life/arrangements, but eventually they come to terms with it.

The Mother finds out she has terminal cancer and she wants to share some special moments with her children before she dies. The two women become friends and they both discuss their fears about the future. How does one tell your children you are dying? It was a very sentimental film, well acted by Susan Sanandon who plays the Mother and Julia Robertson who plays the part of the other woman.

I must admit that in the film scenario it shows how 'The other woman' can become part of the family, particularly if she wasn't actually the one who causes the marriage break-up!

I think my ex-husband and I both realized how difficult it might become if either of us fell into another relationship straight after our divorce. Instead, although we were both living in two separate homes, we both doted on our children and we both spent as much time with them as possible without the added problems of a new step parent. Now that both of our children are older and they've both left school, it does not really matter how we get on with our lives anymore because the children have their own lives to take care off. I can imagine that it must cause an awful lot of jealousy and upset etc once the parents start another relationship with someone else, particularly when the children are much younger. I suppose every Mother's fear is some other woman coming along trying to be a Mother to "Her" children! I think once the children have left school then having a step parent is unlikely to interfere with their family life or their school studies etc

Personally speaking, I wouldn't move another partner into my home especially whilst the children are still of school age/living at home. I know many do, however it is not for me because I know what heartache it can cause, particularly as I know of so many marriage break-ups.

I believe in making special memories for your children, no matter what, no matter who the cause of the break-up is, because you never know when it might be their last memory! 


Remember, the children should always come first!

SmileyRoseFrances x


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